Alexandra Tatarsky
AMERICANA PSYCHOBABBLE
or, my favorite way to die, right now,
in this room
Notes on Reading:
This text forms a part of a piece that was performed in various guises between
2016-2018. Word play appears in bold while movement play is in italics. They are
to be followed loosely and freely as associative riffs and rifts breaking down into
smaller and smaller bits. Both text and body eventually scatter and shatter into
the final image: a waggling tongue—always moving—never fixed.
PART ONE: VAGUE US
Oh wallaby bun bun bend over
Ben, duh, over
it’s over — I’m over it
eat it, Ben, BEN BUN
Benny Bunny Obama BUMMER
buh dum bum (but um BOMB BOMB
BOMBING — buh dum ch!)
bud dum bum bump it, you BUM!
THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU
(Aw!) THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK
YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
You. You. You. You.
Ew.
Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.
Oopsy.
Oopsy made a poopsy.
See?
See this see?
(See this C?)
I saw this Sea
(See—
saw)
This is the C—section: Open it up
Birth… Of A Nation (Sew it back up
I don’t wanna see that!)
this land is my land
this land is my land
it’s my island land of all my eyes
land of all my I’s
my (sigh) land
MY i-land my-land
i landed here
Ides of March
ing past u! P U!
Ur stinky.
Get out of my land
Get out of my i-land
there’s only this
there’s only me
I don’t have room
to breathe!
Literally, can’t breathe
(I need more
I need more space)
it’s my way or the Hi! way
the Goodbye! way the get
the F out of my! Way.
No! Way? Yah! Way!
(Ice cream. Cream.
Kareem Abdul Jabar.)
Get up on your feet!
Yr dead
but you don’t have to be
Keep Living LARGE
Like, obese STYLE
Just wear yourself!
Like wear yourself out
just keep wearing yourself out
wear yourself every where
(where? here! where’s yourself?
over there!)
like sell yourself
like sell your selves
like sell every cell every single sell
(cell phone, cell fee) (cellular sales)
(sex sells? cells sell!)
sell your cells like sell your soul
just sell your hole soul
SOLD OUT
totally so(u)ld out
just sell your self out just SELL IT
and if it’s not working —
sell harder!
like, excel spread sheet
ex sell spread all your sheet
all around
spread your self THIN
yes! just wear yourself out
just wear it out.
wearing it out.
OUT. OW! T OW! T
get it OUT — OUCH!
just wear yourself out
keep wearing it out
like like like like
like like like like
out on the town!
BOOM.
BIG, baby! Be a big baby, baby.
You can be all around you.
That’s what you’re here to do.
Be you!
And the sky does fall down.
And we’re all just unicorns
with a crown
(groanie groan groan).
That’s my folk tale, folks, fuck.
Facts? Fuck facts!
No facts left to give.
We are so post-fact de-facto:
we’re fact. (We are seriously fact.)
And that’s
a fact.
Pie in the sky?
Sky in the pie!
I prefer it that why
Cuz it’s MY PIE
And if I want some
clouds inside my crust
then…that’s how I like my crust
CLOUDY. CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF DICK.
Oh G-d.
G-d?
Are you there, God?
It’s me!
It’s me… MARGROT!
R U THEIR GOD OR R U MY GOD
OHMIGOD — do you even exist?!
All you do is rain
Rain on my parade
And I’m just tryna get —
Tan in my TarTan, Tammy!
Tan in my JamJar, Jim!
Jim Slim Jim Jimbo Jumbo Jim
Beam Jimmy Dean Shrimp
JUMBALAYA
YOU LIAR!
Terrible! Terrible truth-taking
Terrorist terrible terror wrist
Tear or wrist terrible terrible truth
Taking terrorist terrible terrible
Terrible terrorist terrible
TERROR BULL SHIT.
This is bullshit and you know it
But don’t quit if you work at it
you could get good at it
Work at it, immigrint!
Immigrant. Immigrant.
(Immi-grunt-grunt-grunt)
I’mma grunt, grunt, grunt.
Hmmigrant. Hm-migrant.
I’m a grint. I’m a grint.
Not you. No, not u.
Not u-mmigrant — i-mmigrant.
IMmigrant.
I’m a grint!
And I’m great!
Country of my inner stone
henge. Hedge
ing your bets I bet
you don't. Best
dressed (maybe)
but not your best.
In a vest (maybe) but not in vest
ted. Money talks. Ted talks.
You should really invest
because that’s the smart thing to do.
If you have some money
you should make some more
Money, Honey, Benny Bunny Boo Boo!
OUCH! BOO BOO!
Boo hoo.
Boo hoo.
Boo who?
Boo you!
Boo! You.
Boo hoo.
Yoo who?
You hoo!
Boo hoo.
You, who?
Yoo hoo!
Boo hoo.
Murk Amurka grot agrin.
Murk it grot. Just murk it grot agrin.
Just murk it. Just Murk Amurka grot agrin.
Just murk it grot market rate
just market it
just mark it grot!
Murk Amurka grot agrin.
A grin.
A grin
Grin!
Grin!
I’m grinning
I’m winning
and I feel great!
Thank You.
Thank You.
Ew.
clutching heavens stretching
grabbing ass smacking head
bending over it like a hinge
— unhinged — it it it
eating it, feeding it, feeling it hardened
and getting harder — fists are just hands
with themselves inside them
a little drummer boy
thrusting
stalking the edge
arms spread eagle
soaking up applause
(more more more please
the more i get the more i need)
pointing (pointless)
you’re disgusting
i’m disgusting
this is disgusting
how are we even
discussing this — disgusting!
omg i shat myself and i birthed
myself and it’s dripping
(trying to hold it in) (but can’t)
everywhere i’m drawing in my filth i’ll show you:
all seeing is undulating, see
bare it
and bury it
eyes poking out like fingers
horizontal peace signs, airplanes
puking through the I
piece signs on their sighed
(i put the i in it) (i put the i in vomit)
(marching along the vom)
(there’s a reason they call it a vom)
tell them to get out of the country,
coquettishly
devouring with arms
and into the audience
eating the audience
and they’re eating it up
a prayer
take the space
wear the space like a boa
(constrictor)
fists flexing open into “jazz hands” or
“why me hands”
dancing
still dancing
keep dancing
maybe tap dancing?
(not well)
elbows pounding belly
how to get the ow out
pushing all the buttons etc
finger licking that is also poking
at nothing just so you know i’m here
huge leap back arch leg kick butt
LAND:
collapse on the floor
with shame
arching towards the heavens
a table top upside down
go find a man in the crowd and accost him
in such a way that he loves it
toothy fingernails, taking &
talking, the word chattering at itself like
teeth
jostle the head to shake the stars (show off)
climbing up onto a great big
platform, the greatest of grating,
stilettos caught, a speech:
hands clapping is one hand smacking
the other hand until it hurts
fists become tears
the fists are weeping
are wiping the tears away
tears are pointing all the fingers —
pointless
sad clown wipes on a smiley fce,
then sad face, then smiley face
sit down carefully in this silence
the afterlives of a shock of words
a long long moment — be in this moment — be
here now (ow!) (how?)
just really be in the nothing of being
(being you) (ew)
Ok.
OK. Ok.
OK. O K. O KK. Ok.
OO KK. Ok! Ok. OO KK. OOO KKK. Ok! Ok? Ok! O KKK. Mkay.
Okay. Okey dokey donkeys! Okey dokey Don Quixotetete!
O-tay? Ok.
OKKK cough cough cough K K K KYKE KYKE KYKE
cough cough cough KAFKA! Excuse
ME! I just got a lil something caught…
Mkay? KKK AKA ka ka!
ka ka ka Cock – Cock – Cock … cock cock cock …
cock cock cock cock … cockcockcockockock …
COCK (blocked) COCK … cock cock cock … COCK COCK COCK —
sucking cock, cocks in eyes, cocks in the ears, cocks all around yum yum yum so many cocks
cocks become cocked guns jerk off on the audience become dicks shoot up the audience
this is a cock occasion!
(COCK COCK … cock cock cock) still blowing a load
this is a CAUCASION! on everything
yes ! this !
this is a COCKASION
COCK COCK COCK! COCK COCK SHOCK
shock shock SHAKRA shock shock TOCK TOCK TIC TOCK tic tic tic TIC TIC
TIC nazi salute dancing like hands of a grandfather clock that’s never late a tic tic
tic tock I’m TICKED OFF ! (talk) (talk talk talk) the cocks are talking to each other is also a circle
jerk is also not knowing what to say (tic tock tic tock talk talk talk) TIC TOCK COCK-a-doodle
do
wake up !
way KK up !
TIC TOCK TICK TOCK
COCK-A-DOODLE-DO! Cock-doodle do! Wake up! Wake up!
Cock-a-doodle cock-a-doodle—
do you!
Just DO YOU.
Do
do you.
Doo-doo you!
How?
How do you do? How do you do you?
Do you do you? Do you do you or
don’t you do do? Do you doodle do
you? Do you do yoga do you? How
do you do you? How do you do? Do you do
you or don’t you do you? Do you do or don't you do?
I don’t.
I don’t. No, no I don’t. I don’t. I don’t do.
I don’t do do. (No, I don’t! I don’t!
I don’t doo-doo!)
I don’t do
shit. (I don’t shit! No, I don’t!
I don’t shit!)
I don’t do shit.
just stare at the audience
I do …
this
shit.
(I do! I do do this shit!
I doo-doo this shit!)
dance of a crazed TV picking up the wrong signals — haunted fuzz but still dancing
Miss Mash I was taking a bath
Do the mashed potato
Be a couch potato
I love a good dictator!
What? I do!
I do love a good dick…
tater…
tots.
Mmm! Dick Tater Tots!
(Oh c’mon! Everybody likes tater tots!)
I love tots. Little dick-tater-tots.
(Oh who doesn’t like children? I love kids!)
Hey there you little tater tot, you little dictator, you little dick!
You little dick tater TODDLER.
Mmm. I could just eat you up!
My little dictator, my little dick tater tot. stroking the little dick’s head
Good night moon… Good night son… Hello, daddy!
You plus Me… Yummy!
(You me) (Me You) (Yummy)
Mmmmm me
flatness of staring at a screen
Me Me Me
Me Me Me
ME ME ME
Meme Meme Meme
MEME MEME MEME MEME
MA’AM MA’AM MA’AM MA’AM
HAM HAM HAM HAM
HAM IT UP, SCOTTY! BEAM ME UP, BOBBY! DREAM IT UP, DOTTY !
PUT THIS IN YOUR PIE HOLE AND PIPE IT LIKE A PEE POD, PATTY !
LADI DADI WHO LIKES TO PARTY LIKE DADDY IN THE POTTY?
WE DO! WE ARE THE PARTY FOR YOU! WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!
WE ARE FOR UNITY!
You need it! Unity. YOUnity.
(not THEMnity) a lecture
(no, not them. not THEM.)
Unity. Younititty. You need titty.
You need IT.
They don’t need IT.
They don’t need SHIT.
You need to shit!
You need shit!
You need a lot of shit!
Usa? YOUsa! Not THEMsa!
(I’m just using words, people entirely self evident
I’m just using my words, people, MY words the proof is in
you can’t ARGUE with words — ARGH the pudding
YOU, see? See? JUSTICE. Just US.
You (U) Plus (S) (US) —
Status. StatUS
(not stateTHEM, stateUS)
Stay with US!
Stay at the party!
Party time! Part
Tea Time! Liber Tea Time! Liber
Tea Party: THE PARTY OF FREE
DUMB. Just free your dumb! Free the dumbest of dances
your dumb-dumb! Just free it!
Look, I’m trying ok? I’m out here doing
my absolute bust. still dancing
Dumb duh-duh(m) dum diddy dum!
Show ‘em how it’s dumb as dumb as possible
diddy-duh-di-dum-di-dum—
YES be dumb! Free dumb! (Why not? It’s free!)
Dumb-diddy-dumb-di-dumb-di-dumb-diddy-dumb!
Did he dumb? Yes he did! Oh yes he did dumb! He
did so dumb daddy did so dumb we are done.
DONE. stop
Done.
(So dumb)
distressed pause pregnant
over (it’s over) (i’m over it)
We are so done, we’re dunzo!
Dunzel Washington DC! See?
(I saw this sea) (See saw!)
blue fabric like the starry American
night falls as tears from the I
Done. We are done. Done. Done.
… but but but …
BUTT BUTT BUTT hit your but
but but but but again and again
Bunbun! Benny bun bun
boo boo bunny, I miss you.
We used to be something.
You ’n’ me. US. (melodrama of the end times)
We US-ed to be an US.
We US-ed to be the best. BUSTED!
US? BS!
(P.S… BS!)
BUSTED, Buster… er… er… er…
ERRRR—REFUGEES?
Rescue—these—gees? Jeez!
malfunctioning clenching
Resc—u? Risk U?
(Excuse you!) You? Ew! JESUS!
(Jeez, US not Jeez, THEM
Jeez, US!) JESUS! Refugees,
F U, Jeez! Refuse!
Refuse these, Jeez!
Rescue US. Rescue RUST
BELT IT. BELT IT!
Alright, I will: singing
I am the big man
I am the wig man
I am the WALL-RUST!
COO-COO Ka-choonk Ka-choonk
Ka-choonk
staring
waiting
whating
Waa — ?
Wall.
Waaaa — ?
WAAALL. touching the walls
WALL. the actual walls
ALL WALLS ALL WAYS WALLS FOR DAYS. DAZE. see? we do need them
what did i say
Well well well
WALL WALL WALL
Aw, “awful? Awful?”
“Awful Awful?”
Awful? Lawful!
Aw-full?
Law-full!
Falafel? Awful!
Awful? Lawful!
Watch: LAW — (do i have to spell it out for u?)
WALL
(basically, same thing.)
WOW. Wow. WALL. Wow.
We. Need. Walls.
They hold things together.
Toys-R-US?
Toys are THEM!
WALLS-R-US!
Walls are us:
Wall—mart
Wall—dorf Salad
Wall—ington Boots
Wall—et
Wall—being
Wall—nut
Wall-owing in sadness
Wall—
intentioned. Very wall—intentioned
very very wall—intentioned.
Puttin' America first! Puttin' Putin (poo poo
Putin!) Putin America first! Putin it first!
Putin it fist! Putin’s fist. Putin’s fisting America! fisting yourself
Putin’s just fistin’ it! Just fist
America. First America fist! fisting again and again
Fist America first!
Fisting America! I’m just fisting! YEAH! really enjoying the fisting!
Amer-I-Can fist it!
Oh yes I can! Fist-ive!
Very Festive! Very
Festive Merry X-mas! Refugees?
Bored! More bored. Bored
er, Border.
More borders! Order more
borders! (What
is going on? A little more
order please)
A little more law
and order I’d like a little MORE
huge hoarder huge hoarder over here border hoarder
law and order hoarder always order always
order more always order more
hors d’oeuvres!
ALWAYS (there’s never enough)
always order more
HORS D’OEUVRES.
“Horsdevores” “Whore’s divorce.”
Whores do divorce. Only whores divorce.
Only whores. Only whores divorce.
So protect what’s yours.
Protect what’s ours.
This is ours! This is Our Hour! Our
POWER hour. Our power hour our punching
power pow-wow! Pow-WOW! Fresh space
pow-pow! (who doesn’t like skiing?)
Our hour, our order, our hors d’oeuvres a demon critter
So protect what’s yours
Protect what’s ours
Hours
Hours and hours
hour after hour
after hour
OW —
in pain ER…
searching OW —
ER…
OW!
er…
er… er… er…
ER! ER! ER!
E—MERGE
EMERGE—
EMERGENCY!
SEE?
STATE OF EMERGENCY
STATE IT: EMERGENCY!
SEE?
Enemy.
Enemy.
EneME.
ME. EneME.
me (enem) me.
M E. (N—M) M E.
N M E
Enemy — EneMY.
My my, ENEMY…
MY enemy!
M I N E !
Mmmmm —
ENE—ME ME ME
ENE—ME ME ME ME ME
ENEME ENEMA ENEMY ENEMA ENEMYENEMAENEMYENEMA
ENEMY ENEMA ENEMYE NENEMA
EMENY EMENA
extended enema exorcism ENEMY ENEMA
chewing and vomiting word parts (MAMA MAMA) (MAMA MIA)
ENEMYENEM AMANMEMNAMAMA
ENEMYENEMAENEMYENEMOMMY
NOM NOM NOM enemyenemaenemeenemyenema
NOM NOM NOM
into the nothing
nom nom
nom nom nom nom
nom nom
nom
the tongue keeps dancing
nom nom nom nom nom
um
nom
nom nom nom um
numb um
until it can’t anymore
Alexandra Tatarsky makes work in the unfortunate in-between zone of comedy,
performance art, theater and deluded rant. Their work often incorporates absurdist
characters and improvised word play. It is fueled largely by anxiety. Venues include
MoMA PS1, Skirball, New Museum, Metro Pictures/83 Pitt St, Maccarone, Judson
Church, La Mama ETC, The Brick, CPR, Gibney and many bars, backyards, and living
rooms. Chapbooks include Vacant Love and Embrace the Tree. As the Shanzhai Lyric,
they publish mini-compilations of bootleg t-shirt poems. Writings on hyper-capitalism,
nonsense, and mimes are forthcoming in ArtReview Asia, BAC, and Garlands.