WAR

xXXX

WAR WOMAN

war wolves, war wolves
what are you howling about
what are you doing to me
I thought you loved me
I thought you cared for me
I thought I were your friend

WAR WOLVES

war woman, war woman
you are better than friend
you are our destiny
you are so pretty
you are tender

WAR WOMAN

war wolves, war wolves
I believe in goodness
I believe in the inherent
goodness of wolves
please do not look at me like
I am your meal

WAR WOLVES

war woman, war woman
we think you're great
we think you're the best
we love you so much
we can't help it

WAR WOMAN

war wolves, war wolves
stop digging your teeth into me
stop all your clawing
stop biting my neck
it's not cute, it just hurts
stop please

WAR WOLVES

we just love you so much
we can't help it

WAR WOMAN

war wolves, war wolves
your love is really
getting in the way of
my health

WAR WOLVES

sorry
we can't help it

XXXX

WAR WOLF WITH GLASSES

sh
sh
quiet
sh
quiet
quiet

WAR WOMAN

oh god

WAR WOLF WITH GLASSES

sh
sh
quiet
sh
war woman
there are rules in this world
there are rules in the library of wolves
no running in the halls
no smoking
no speaking, god no
no sound
no

WAR WOMAN

I'm sorry
I'm so sorry

WAR WOLF WITH GLASSES

war woman
you broke our rules
we have to punish war woman
we don't want to
it's not that we want to be disciplinarians
but someone has to be disciplinarians

WAR WOMAN

I'm sorry
war wolves
I'm so sorry I
run in the halls
smoke
speak, god no
I'm sorry I made a sound
I know now
I know now that those are rules
I should not have broken
in the library of wolves

WAR WOLF WITH GLASSES

I'm glad
I'm glad you understand now
but what's done is done

WAR WOMAN

I didn't know
please
I didn't know that those were the rules

WAR WOLF WITH GLASSES

what's done is done
you need to be punished
that's only fair
that's justice

XXXX

WAR WOLVES

we the war wolves
we the nation of wolves
we smoke together
we feast
we box
we watch boxing
we play poker
we party
we get hungover
we play football
with our hands inside our pockets
we read the papers
we play pool
we kick our television
we tell jokes
we shoot guns
we the war wolves
we have fun

WAR WOMAN

your fun is really
getting in the way of
my health

XXXX

WAR WOMAN

lightbulb swings
drip
drip
shadows
drip
drip
dirty corners
drip
drip
uniforms
uniforms
uniforms
drip
drip
drip
drip
drip

WAR WOLVES

knock knock

WAR WOMAN

who's there
oh god who's there

WAR WOLVES
we are
you ready for more?

WAR WOMAN

no
I am not ready for more
please
please I am not ready for more
I am done
I am finished
I have nothing more to give you
I have nothing

WAR WOLVES

what do you mean
don't say that about yourself
have self-esteem
have self-worth
you have so much
you have so much to offer

WAR WOMAN

I will run

WAR WOLVES

you should
that would be fun
that would be a good game
that would be a good time
capture the flag
catch
hide and seek
that would be a good game
that sounds fun

WAR WOMAN

you won't catch me
I have feet like wings

WAR WOLVES

oh war woman
oh poor war woman
I'm sorry but
you only have two feet
wings or no wings
we have four feet
we'll catch up

XXXX

WAR WOLVES

we the war wolves
we the nation of wolves
we are not perfect
we have flaws
we can be petty
we can be impulsive
irresponsible
immature
we're imperfect
but
we are beautiful
we are alive

XXXX

SMILING WAR WOLF

hello
hello, woman

WAR WOMAN

what do you want?
I have nothing
I have nothing more to give you

SMILING WAR WOLF

where are the keys
here are the keys
stick it in the hole
turn it round the hole
open the door
hello
hello, woman

WAR WOMAN

oh god
what do you want
what do you want

SMILING WAR WOLF

nothing
I'm just saying hi
I don't want anything
I have everything I need
I'm just saying hi
you know
you should tell
me what
you want
I'd like that
I'd like to know what
you want
what do you want
you want to go?

WAR WOMAN

what?

SMILING WAR WOLF

what do you want
you want to go?

WAR WOMAN

what?

SMILING WAR WOLF

you want to go?

WAR WOMAN

oh
yes
oh yes
yes I'd like to go

SMILING WAR WOLF

okay
you're free to go

WAR WOMAN

what?

SMILING WAR WOLF

I said, you're free to go
you can go now
if you want
you can
you should go
I support you going

WAR WOMAN

what?

SMILING WAR WOLF

if you don't want to go
then don't go
but if you want to go
you should

WAR WOMAN

are you kidding?

SMILING WAR WOLF

no
no I'm not kidding
yes
I'm kidding
that was so funny
that was hilarious
oh, don't look at me like that
don't look at me like I'm awful
it makes me adore you so much
you are so adorable
I just want to eat you up

WAR WOMAN

please leave me
please leave me alone

SMILING WAR WOLF

you are really exquisite
I just want to eat you up

WAR WOMAN

please leave
please

SMILING WAR WOLF

if you want to go
you can still go
but I might
do something
about it
cutie pie

WAR WOMAN

please

SMILING WAR WOLF

okay
okay
don't cry
it makes you look too cute
oh man it makes you look cute
okay
I'll go
I'll go before I do something to you
I'll go before I do things to you you won't like
but I would like
very much
I'll go
goodbye
goodbye
goodbye
war woman
if you don't say goodbye to me
I won't go
I'll stay
and we'll play some more games

WAR WOMAN

goodbye

SMILING WAR WOLF

well, that's very enthusiastic
where did all that enthusiasm come from?
where was all that enthusiasm a moment ago?
why suddenly are you saying goodbye?
you want me to go?
you hate me?
that's not very nice
I'm hurt
I'm very hurt
I'm kidding
I'm not hurt
of course you want to see me go
of course you want me to leave
that makes a lot of sense
I like it when you make a lot of sense
I like it when you look at me
like you would scratch me
if you could reach me
I like it
I like you
woman
say goodbye
say goodbye to me
say goodbye

WAR WOMAN

goodbye

SMILING WAR WOLF

goodbye
sayonara
au revoir
aloha
blah dee blah
abracadabra
beep boop beep boop
I'm kidding
those are not languages
that's just sound
that's just noise
I think that's very funny
do you think that's funny
I bet it's not that funny to you
I think you don't have a sense of humor
they say war women are humorless
war women are not funny
but that's okay
I like you anyway
anyway
goodbye
goodbye
goodbye
shut the door
where are the keys
here are the keys
stick it in the hole
turn it round the hole
lock the door
goodbye
goodbye, woman
goodbye

XXXX

PARTY WAR WOLF

woo hoo woo hoo
let's party you and me
let's party let's all party
where are the hotties
where are the hotties
where are they
where did they go
where are they
woo hoo woo hoo
eighteen beers gin and tonic
three nine glasses of wine then
two more bottles vodka whiskey
more whiskey
I lost myself I wasn't looking for myself
I just lost myself
should check the lost and found
should check the lost and found
I lost myself I lost myself
I had wine I had lots of wine
I had so much wine
I'm about to turn
into a grape
woo hoo woo hoo
let's party
just for fun your legs and arms
make you spread-eagle and then
I will tickle you
and you will pee your pants
and then I will tickle you more
and you will poop your pants
and just for fun just for fun
I will tear up your skin
tear it up
like scissors to cloth
wool
suede
velvet
cotton
leather
polyester
just for fun just for fun
then I will tickle
your innards
you will start begging
oh god
where is my drink where is my drink
where did I put my drink
where is my alcohol
what did you do with my alcohol
give me more please just give me more
just a little more I just want more
for fun just for fun
is that so much to ask
woo hoo woo hoo
let's party you and me
let's party where are the hotties
where are the hotties
give me my hotties
give me give me give me
my hotties
are you a hottie
are you a hottie
oh my god you are so hot
you are hot come on
come on take off your pants
come on do it take off your pants
oh god woo hoo woo hoo
I want to play a game
I lost myself I wasn't looking for myself
I just lost myself should check the lost and found
lost and found
lost and found
lost and sound
lost and sound
cost and sound
cost and sound
woo hoo woo hoo

XXXX

CHANGED WAR WOLF

I have to tell you a story
I have to tell you about how
I came to be the wolf
that I am today
I have to tell you
one day
I was just walking by
I was just walking along
and I saw
her
I saw war woman
chained there
she had shat herself
she was covered
in her own piss
vomit
at first I thought
disgusting
obviously
she was filthy
she stank
but
but
I didn't turn away
I didn't
I kept watching
I kept looking
I couldn't stop
I was
riveted
fascinated
mesmerized
held hostage
I wanted to
vomit
and I thought
I have nothing in common with her
nothing
different circumstances
different history
different set of molars
but for some strange reason
I couldn't stop looking
so I was looking
and looking
and then
for some strange reason
a thought occurred to me
a voice came to me
as I was watching
the shitty piece of flesh
tremble
a voice came to me
and the voice spoke:
this is the real world
this is the real world
my whole body
trembled
my whole being
shook
my fur
electrified
the voice said
this is the real world
and I heard myself murmur back
yes
yes
you're right
this is the real world
and nothing else
and suddenly
suddenly
everything was different
there was no more sadness
no more anxiety
no more ugliness
the world had split open
and the colors
my god
the colors
at the core
of the world
I had never seen such colors
the world was perfect
everything was exactly
as it should be
and when I looked back at her
covered in her own feces
I no longer found her disgusting
I found her so beautiful
everything was exactly
as it should be
and I realized
it struck me
I am beautiful
I didn't know it
I didn't believe it
but the truth is
I am beautiful
I am real
I am changed
I am new

XXXX

MUSICIAN WAR WOLF
sings a beautiful song:

MUSICIAN WAR WOLF

war war war war
war war war war
war war war war
war war war war
war war war war
war war war war
war war war war
war war war war
war war war war
war war war war
war war war war
war war war war
war war war war
war war war war
war war war war

WAR WOLVES cheer

XXXX

WAR WOLVES

the thing you should know about wolves is
the thing you should know
is that wolves howl at night
and this is called ululation.
blood flows through wolves
and this is called circulation
that's about all you need to know
about wolves
the thing you should know about war woman
the thing you should know
is that they are kind of obnoxious
they are always screaming and shit

FUNNY WAR WOLF

wouldn't it be funny
wouldn't it be so funny
if I gave her a knife
just as a joke
just as a funny thing
give her something to work with
give her something to wave around
give her hope
wouldn't it be funny to just
give her hope
give her something to hold
hello war woman
hello
I have a knife for you
I think you could use it
have fun
have funny
here take the knife
have this knife
make me laugh

WAR WOMAN

is this a knife?
this is a knife
is this for me?

FUNNY WAR WOLF

yes have fun funny time

WAR WOMAN

I have a knife
I have a knife

FUNNY WAR WOLF

this is so funny

XXXX

WAR WOLVES

hello
hello woman
ready for more?

WAR WOMAN

yes
yes I am

WAR WOLVES
good attitude
good woman
come here
let us chew on you for a bit
woah
what have you got there
what have you got
what are you hiding
under your shirt
what
ow

WAR WOMAN

down with war
down with wolves

WAR WOLVES

ow
ow
you bitch
you have a knife

WAR WOMAN

I have a knife
I will rip your guts out
I will tear down your flag
I have a knife

WAR WOLVES

you bitch

WAR WOMAN

down with war
down with wolves

WAR WOLVES

ow
you're hurting us
you bitch

WAR WOMAN

down with you
down with you
let me hear you whine
the common dogs that you are
bark, wag your tail
be the common dogs that you are
how dare you
how dare you
rob me
kidnap me
hit me
rape me
chew on me

WAR WOLVES

you make it sound like
we were awful about it
but that's not true
we were civil
we just went in
through the open window
and took you from your
warm feather bed
you had no guards
no security system

WAR WOMAN

down with you
down with you

WAR WOLVES

woah
you have a knife
okay
fine
you have a knife
but bitch
ultimately
it is meaningless
no meaning
because your knife
is outnumbered
here is why
these are our paws
at the end of our paws
are knives
we have ten knives
on our paws
it comes down to numbers
sorry bitch
but it comes down to numbers
you have one
we have ten each
ultimately
you won't win

WAR WOMAN

you have cornered me
a cornered knife
is a dangerous knife

WAR WOLVES

true
you have an extraordinary knife
it's a good knife
but bitch
you only have one

WAR WOMAN

ow
ow
I have a knife
ow
I have a knife
ow
ow
ow
ow

XXXX

FUNNY WAR WOLF

wouldn't it be funny
if she used the knife I gave her
to cut an artery open
her throat
her wrist
wouldn't it be hysterical
wouldn't it be
the funniest thing in the world
if she just ended it for herself
that would make me laugh
that really would

XXXX

WAR WOLF IDEOLOGUE

our ideology is that we are free
to pursue every instinct
to pursue every scent
to pursue every prospect of meat
and since we are wolves
born in a nation of wolves
our instincts are wolfish
our ideology is that we are limitless
there is nothing we can't do
we can be endlessly kind
give kisses and hugs
forgive and forget
recycle
we can be endlessly kind
but that means
it swings the other way sometimes
our ideology is that
we like our fun in full bloom
we like our fun unbridled
bareback
we have so much fun
fun is so fun
la la la la
beep boop beep boop
meow meow meow
war woman, war woman
you are a judgmental person
you are a judge-y judge
come on
lighten up
chill out
forget about it
I mean
let's talk frankly
you know you can't keep doing this
this is not sustainable
you are alone
you are totally alone here
totally alone in all this
you won't survive this
you can't
it's not possible
no one can do this forever
you poor thing
let's talk frankly here
all this can stop
it can
it will
if you want it to
if you do one thing
one small thing
join us
you can join us
be with us
it'll be so fun

WAR WOMAN

I am tempted
by your offer
I am
I really am
but I have this thing
this thing
memory
the trouble is I remember
I remember you
your claws
and the things you did to my skin
to my kin
the reckless cruelty of your wolfhood
you are your present hunger
I am my history
and I remember
I am not a wolf

XXXX

WAR WOLVES

this is how this ends
we tear you up
we finally do it
we end torture
we end you
and then
because you are tiny
we are going to fight about
who gets what
who gets the eyes
who gets the nose
who gets the thighs
who gets the feet

WAR WOLF ONE

I want the belly

WAR WOLF TWO

I want her tits

WAR WOLF THREE

I want her ass

WAR WOLF FOUR

I want her throat

WAR WOLF FIVE

I want her hair, I want to wear it

WAR WOLF FOUR

ew
that's weird

WAR WOLF FIVE

no
it'll work with the right outfit

WAR WOLF ONE

I want her feet

WAR WOLF TWO

I want the whole thing

WAR WOLF ONE

now, how is that fair

WAR WOLF TWO

it's not fair but I'm just being honest
I want the whole thing

WAR WOLF THREE

no fair
I want the whole thing too

WAR WOLF FOUR

I want the whole thing too

WAR WOLF FIVE

me too

WAR WOLF THREE

I want it more

WAR WOLF FOUR

what the hell do you mean
you want it more
are you saying that
I don't want it
as much as you?

WAR WOLF THREE

I'm just saying
fine
you want it
but I want it a lot
a lot a lot

WAR WOLF FOUR

you asshole

WAR WOLF THREE

you poodle

WAR WOLF FOUR

you shit-zu

WAR WOLF THREE

you chihuahua

XXXX

WAR WOLF LOVER

I have a hand
in my hand
the hand of war woman
the hand I ripped off
of war woman
I have eaten
of the five fingers
three fingers
there are two fingers left
I want to eat them
I am hungry
I want to eat them
but instead I will give them
to my loved one
I have a loved one
I am not like
the rest of them
I am not barking like
the rest of them
I hate the rest of them
but not my darling
I love my darling
darling
here darling
here my love
I have two fingers left for you
you can have them
I want them
but I will give them up
for you
this is how strong my feeling
this is proof of feeling
take these fingers
I love you
I love you

WAR WOLF LOVED

I love you
I love you
this is the most romantic thing
you have ever done for me
I love you
I love you
please darling
have my cubs

XXXX

WAR WOLF LOVER and WAR WOLF LOVED
embrace and then begin having tender, wolfish sex
end of play

Note:

Large xxxx stands in for
sensory expression of violence
sound (screaming, loud banging) 
or sight (a collective gesture). 
The war wolves are dressed in
military uniforms of some kind.
The war woman is wearing
white t-shirt that says WAR WOMAN.

Celine Song's plays include The Feast (MAP Theater in Seattle, New Court Theatre in LA, Shelterbelt Theatre in Omaha, Red Theater Chicago), Family (Signature Theater, Potomac Theater), and Tom & Eliza (Ars Nova, JACK—finalist for American Playwrighting Foundation's 2016 Relentless Award). She is a member of the Public Theater’s 2016-2017 Emerging Writers Group and a member of Ars Nova’s 2014-2015 Play Group. She has been awarded residencies and fellowships from: the Millay Colony for the Arts, the MacDowell Colony, Yaddo, and the Edward F. Albee Foundation. She holds an M.F.A. from Columbia.

Published March 2017.